Just like a samurai warrior, you too need to protect yourself from the slings and arrows that will come your way. Learn how to protect yourself and win the hearts and minds of your customers.
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Just like a samurai warrior, you too need to protect yourself from the slings and arrows that will come your way. Learn how to protect yourself and win the hearts and minds of your customers.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
50 years ago today, a young couple took their vows, pledging to see things through, for better or worse. As the son of these two quirky human beings, I look back at the decades of their marriage and marvel at all they have been through. In particular, while I was in high school, when Dad walked out the door telling Mom he was “done.” Half a century later, they have always found a way to work through their issues and build a stronger relationship. Just a few weeks ago, they bought each other anniversary rings to celebrate this milestone and their lives together (which is both sweet and cheesy, but hey, that’s my parents).
As a divorced man who is now remarried, I know that not all relationships were built to last, and that prolonging dysfunctional ones is harmful and counterproductive. This holds true in personal and professional life. Some relationships with employees and clients merely hit rough patches, while others should be brought to an end for the benefit of all parties involved.
Honest assessment of any “marriage,” including employment or partnership with a customer, starts with an appraisal of the state of the relationship. If it’s good, why is it good? If it’s not, what’s missing or not working. When a relationship is in trouble, an important question must also be explored: What’s more mutually beneficial—working through the issues or going separate ways. Rigorous honesty promotes the natural process of ebb and flow in relationships that is part of business and personal life.
And, by the way, Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!
“I’m excited to come home to you, even on those days when we’ve had one of our rare fights,” my wife told me this morning. I clearly choose well in partnering with this amazing woman as my spouse. I share in her excitement and always find a grin on my face when I hear her car coming up our drive. Our relationship is built on many things, including mutual respect, ongoing communication, and the simple pleasure of each other’s company.
How excited are you to see the people in your life? What about your clients? Are you excited to connect with each of them? If the answer is “no” it’s time to assess what’s going on.
Have you simply misplaced your gratitude? Sometimes we have to be reminded of what we have. Ask yourself how your clients benefit from your partnership, and the reciprocity you receive for your efforts. Look closely at how the relationship has grown during your time together.
If your gratitude is not the issue then maybe it’s your standards or even lack of them. A client may be a poor fit for your company or could be exhibiting unacceptable behaviors, such as unreasonable demands or unethical conduct. Have you addressed these issues with the buyer? If the circumstances do not change, is this a customer truly worth keeping?
When gratitude and fit aren’t the issues, then you’re most likely dealing with a stagnant relationship. Just like a marriage needs attention to remain vibrant and alive, your client relationships will stay fresh and exciting as you take conscious steps to evolve, deepen, and continuously enhance the bonds. Don’t feel like you have to come up with how to do this on your own. Ask the buyer what would make your relationship even better. Combine this with your own ideas and you’ll have actionable steps to take to revitalize and potentially even expand the value of your partnership.
Whether it’s an attitude of gratitude, addressing issues, letting go, or jump-starting what you have together, your customer relationships are yours to create, nurture, and grow. So why not make them and keep them exciting?
On April 20, 1999, Cassie Bernall, a 17-year-old student at Columbine High School, faced a life and death choice — tell the boy with the gun what he wanted to hear or tell him the truth. Being strong in her convictions, she chose the truth and he choose to end her life. This tragedy is one of the saddest moments of that decade and it holds for us a powerful truth about control over others: we have none. Each and every person we work with has the power of choice and nothing we say, nor how we say it, gives us any dominance over the decisions and actions that individual will make.
What makes matters worse, for us, are the three types of fallout from the supposed best practice of controlling the client or candidate:
Fortunately, it was at that juncture that I learned there was a simpler and more positive way to manage a recruiting process.
Candidates and clients will willingly participate in a process that provides them with tremendous value. It requires no control, zero coercion, and less labor intensity than the oppressive methods still perpetuated by trainers and managers alike. This process, called Enrolled Engagement, facilitates an inviting and positive relationship in four simple steps:
“What would be your objectives if we were to work together?”
“What would make you happier compared to your current situation?”
“How can I bring tremendous value to our relationship?”
“XYZ company just made this mistake. They found someone who fit, but delayed their decision a few days. By the time they were ready to move, the candidate had already taken another offer.”
“The market is tight and you may lose this job if you wait.”
“Lots of companies are looking for the same type of people, so you better move fast.”
Instead, let true facts and figures do all of the talking:
“There are 17 other companies looking for the same candidate profile. Knowing that, how prudent do you believe it is to wait?”
I’m not suggesting you throw your arms in the air and let candidates and clients run your process; that would be almost as destructive as being controlling. What I am encouraging you to do is to facilitate a positive process that creates ravings fans of your work. While this may sound like semantics, the subtle distinction between control and Enrolled Engagement completely changes the dynamic from a business transaction solely focused on getting the deal done to a relationship where the interests of all parties are well served. When you achieve that, you’ll be perceived as different from all of your domineering competitors.
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This article by Scott Wintrip was originally published by The Fordyce Letter, an ERE Media publication, on January 17, 2011.